Be careful of being aggressive -- especially if it's being driven by emotion. It can make you unreasonably vulnerable.

I know this firsthand.

The problem is simple. When you're being overly aggressive, you're sticking your face out there and just daring someone to punch it.

Any fact you don't know, any weakness in your position, any violation of your own code of conduct you're showing by this behavior, will make that punch more forceful and more difficult to block.

Although aggressiveness feels strong, in a positional discussion or negotiation it makes you weak. In a positional situation, the other side will take this weakness, exploit it and you will lose.

In a non-positional discussion between fundamentally aligned parties, the other side may, and that's a big MAY because this requires some serious EQ, understand that this is a symptom of something deeper and use it as a diagnostic tool.

Sometimes this takes some intervention because the situation needs to be de-escalated and that takes some skill and that skill may not be on hand at that moment.

Now there are times that the aggressiveness may be necessary. But more often than not, it's unproductive at best, and counterproductive at worst.

So rein in those emotions. But if you can't and you're going to go ape-sh&t, make sure you're right. If you don't have time to know that for sure, it's best to avoid the conversation.

Being aggressive carries a burden that being collaborative doesn't.

The video below talks about a lesson learned early in my career that drove this home.